Maria Ramos

The Netherlands 2000, 90 min.

Desi’s an eleven-year-old Dutch girl. She has all the classic problems of an eleven-year-old: Who’s her best friend on the playground? Should she have a boyfriend? Which secondary school will she get into? On top of that she has extra burdens to bear – her mum committed suicide when she was a baby, her dad’s a slacker, her dad’s girlfriend is hyper and looks like she might walk out at any moment, and each day when Desi gets out of school she has to negotiate by mobile phone to find out if she’s allowed back to her dad’s chaotic houseboat or if she has to sleep at her gran’s cheerless house, and eat boiled cabbage. As if that wasn’t enough, Desi also has to cope with Maria Ramos’ film crew following her around.

It must have been an intrusive experience for Desi, but this feature-length documentary is a tour-de-force access into a child’s-eye-view of her own world. Unmediated by any commentary, the camera captures moments of private drama, like the face of Desi’s best friend crumpling as the school advisor announces she’s not going to the Middle Secondary she’d hoped for, but to what the Dutch unceremoniously call ‘Lower School’. Or when Desi asks her Dad why her mum got suicidally depressed, he says so precisely the wrong thing, blaming the kid for her mother’s post-natal depression, that you cringe for both of them.

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